I grew up anxious, afraid that I didn’t fit in, didn’t know how to act, and I was terrified to fail in any way. It literally hurt to make mistakes, and I could not control my behavior whenever I was laughed at by others or...
Category - Recovery
Stepping on the digital scale in a cardiology practice is the moment of truth: either you are closer to your optimal weight, and BMI, or you are farther from it.
My illness is progressive, and it feeds on fear first, then isolation. If I want to minimize that fear, then I need to maximize our fellowship.
My oldest son, William Rockaway Boger, died on July 23rd, 2023. He was celebrating his 30th birthday. Our relationship was strained. We often went weeks, and sometimes months, without talking, because I would not speak to him...
I'm working again as much as I can, both prose and poetry. This is my second "finished" piece, and I have a few more in the notebooks.
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know."
Today, I am at peace with conversation, respectful argument, and a radical honesty of expression. Today, I am going to give my knowledge, so that I can receive your knowledge.
I sometimes lie to myself that I am a poet, deep-down and hidden, and that someday my talent will spontaneously blossom, like "the Lilly Inextinguishable," and I will compose a prize-winning collection of first drafts.
This is how enthusiasm dies, how I kill hobbies before they start, why I never hire teachers or ask for help. I get-by making false promises to myself, the illusion of intent.
I don't want to live inside a feeling of pressure, of being driven by events, so today I am harnessing peace and optimism. I am shifting from "have-to" to "want-to."
